Plural Again
September 12th, 4:15pm.
Aimee showed up and took front after nearly a week with no switches and silence in headspace.
That seemingly opened the floodgates – our normal switching patterns immediately resumed, with 15 switches yesterday, and 9 so far today. It's mostly relieving, as I'd really begun missing the others and regretting what we'd done to ourselves.
It's also super confusing? I don't really have a read on what caused things to slip back to 'normal' really. I've been sick for a week and a half so I've had a lot of time to process things and try to figure out what happened, and I'm lost.
I keep thinking that this is a sign I'm making up my DID – which is dumb given that I'm clinically diagnosed and have a therapist who's been treating it who has seen us switch in session a ton, so I know it's real. Something about the covert nature of DID causes me to constantly doubt it.
I hope we're not doomed to this level of instability and ambiguity forever. I don't know what our access to therapy will look like after we move, which is troublesome.
This is certainly not the most coherent post I've ever written, but I wanted to update y'all on things.
- before this i wrote: A Quiet Brain