i miss ethan so much
notes
small posts and threadsa major downside of basically losing my plurality for the moment is that i am unmotivated to work on the system tracking app i was daily driving
not to mention one of the others enjoyed development work more than me. i'd rather read or write things.
but it was really getting good! bummer.
just did an estrogen injection thinking it was shot day and i did one on sunday… whoops this’ll be fun 🙃
i’ve managed to get sucked into a novel for the first time in years (i’m generally a nonfiction girlie) and it’s nice to know my ability to visualize environments i read about in detail hasn’t gone away. it’s like a whole ass movie in my head still
sort of wild that i just convinced the other alters to go away and they did? like i haven’t switched in 2 days? it feels so fucking weird? mental health fixed?
i’ve changed a lot about how i’m looking at my plurality, and figured it best to elaborate for y’all’s sake:
https://skylar.cc/on-being-multiple/
it’s actually super cool to get sick like two weeks before i move that won’t be inconvenient for me at all 🙃
i'd rather set my internal world on fire than continue to exist in an external one that has no room for who i really am
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Ethan
(he/him)
so afraid of being perceived as a detransitioner if i take our presentation too masculine, don’t really know what to do about it other than try to explain the nuances of our experience bleh
amab trans man only kind of joking
⚫️
Ethan
(he/him)
people who are too scared to self-actualize blaming it on those who have the gall to do so, what else is new
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Ethan
(he/him)
my gender keeps circling around to "muscle femboy" and i am scared and excited by this
⚫️
Ethan
(he/him)
who the fuck let us schedule two hours of therapy, an hour with our psychiatrist, and an hour of DBT group in the same day we are so tireddddd
⚫️
Ethan
(he/him)
been wearing my binder more lately and feeling good about myself 🥰
iPadOS: floating windows with a menu bar, full keyboard and trackpad support, literally running on a M3
also iPadOS: cannot play a TV show and a video on Bluesky at the same time
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Zari
(they/she)
"i wanna come over and play dress up together"
i just look like a woman all the time actually on account of being one, thanks
i mean like,,, we're actually a man like 30% of the time but that's not relevant here lmfao
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Ethan
(he/him)
help our tiktok for you page has decided we have bpd now apparently
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Ethan
(he/him)
spent the day ignoring social media and building a lil place to track what books we're reading, have read, and want to read – with ratings and optional reviews!
we don't have all our physical books with us so we can't add all of them, but added the hits. take a look:
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Zari
(they/she)
what if i was just like, not debilitatingly mentally ill that would be so cool actually
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Zari
(they/she)
we've spent so much time working on an iOS/macOS app and are this close to scrapping it and building a PWA instead because holy FUCK is CloudKit a pain in the fucking ass and if I'm using something else for encrypted storage I may as well make it cross-platform at that point
do you want cloud storage that only achieves eventual consistency and sometimes just decides a new device with no data is the most important and deletes everything? what? you want to build safeguards against that? don't be silly! it's an entirely opaque sync process you have zero visibility into!!
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Zari
(they/she)
out of curiosity fed some of our recent journal entries into an "ai detector" and most of them said 0% but one of them said 40% AI written, and nope, those were just our words lol