notes

in better news we are five weeks sober and will not be letting all of this ruin that, it has been so fucking worth it

hey... if you say "this really hurts" and "i don't think i can do this" and are verbally wincing a hookup should stop right? he shouldn't grab your hips and push into you?

like it eventually felt good but uhhhhhh i am having feelings and am very confused and conflicted and idk man

group therapy today was rough, this guy got angry and it was triggering.

🌟 i fronted and didn't know where i was in the cafeteria and it was very scary, i was just super quiet and followed the line back to the room and sat there but people kept asking me questions and i didn't know what to say 😔

i was going to consult for BA a bit ago but had to decide not to because Ethan’s chest dysphoria and binder wearing. i still think about it so often.

being plural is not the most fun thing.

thinking about the guy in group therapy who responded to us saying “i have no idea who i am” immediately with “well, however many of you there are, there, four, whatever” when we have not mentioned DID 🙃

finally wore a two piece swimsuit after like,, 9 years of transition and swam for the first time in 5 years. it was sooo nice 🥰

not all furries, but almost always a furry for some reason we genuinely cannot parse

wild that somehow the take always becomes “online community isn’t valid, i’m morally superior to you because i live somewhere i have queer friends” when it’s about privacy and consent. irl friends still have group chats where they talk shit, sorry to say.

well i picked a good day to be too busy to Log On and then to be taking a break from bluesky for the next ~3 weeks (if i can manage the self control) 🥴

if you wanna chat DM me for signal/discord would love to have folks to talk to!! 🥰

we need to hook our medication tracker into bluesky so we can’t post until we’ve taken our mental health meds lmao

i think i prefer looking at pre-transition photos than post-transition pre-FFS ones? is that weird?

working on a browser extension that labels posts with alter indicators with information from bios :3 it's early and very buggy but we're excited – though we never finish projects, so you know

so for some reason, our iPad when docked at our desk sends 5.1 audio to the dock, and it sends only the rear left and right channels to the speakers?

of course Apple Knows Best so there are no settings to disable 5.1 and force downsampling. no issue on macOS with the same file though. ugh.

progesterone? more like, ingest her bone

just need to get railed and called a pretty girl 🥺 i have very simple needs

ever since our major dissociative event about a week ago, headspace has been super quiet, we haven’t co-fronted basically at all, and switches are less frequent and more subtle. the child alters have barely come around at all.

it’s a really scary shift.

just learned cishet women are using “FTM” to mean “First Time Mom”???

gosh that’s awfully confusing when you say “i’m pregnant and a FTM” 😵‍💫

Woman New Game+

omg they updated Fruit Ninja Classic with a BLUEY EVENT ‼️ it’s so fun!