skylar
taylor-
barrickshe/they/ella/elle

notes

small posts and threads

“traumagenic plurality” is a meaningless and redundant term invented by tumblr people — if your plurality is caused by trauma it’s DID, OSDD, or DDNOS.

If it isn’t caused by trauma we have fundamentally different experiences and you can invent your own language idc really

i just think some framing absolves people of the work you need to do — whether that’s therapy and system work to increase communication and functioning or working toward fusion or integration.

staying in a place with extreme dissociation and amnesia isn’t good for you.

i think it may be time to start thinking about fusion

i’ve always thought about it in terms of losing parts of me — but think about what i’d gain?

increased functioning, emotional awareness and control, a clearer sense of identity, less sexuality and body image conflict.

starting to see what a post-dissociation skylar could look like and wanting it

✨ Zari (they/she)

wearing glasses is so normalized that people forget that they're literally assistive devices for a disability and so many of us literally cannot function without them

this was brought up by watching an episode of "Couple's Therapy" where this man is upset with his wife for getting her annual eye exam and new glasses and called it "superfluous" 🙃

switching headaches suck i am in so much pain ugh

✨ Zari (they/she)

i guess i’m not taking PrEP anymore because my doctor won’t refill it without it labs despite me not having had sex in ages and i can’t make myself drive an hour and a half to his office because the last time i went he erroneously sent me to the ER because he misread an EKG and i’m traumatized

✨ Zari (they/she)

every time i look at sky’s journals lately she’s just really sad and feeling rejected and i feel so fucking bad that i couldn’t protect her from that she used to be so happy and innocent and joyful and she learned to care more about what other people think. it sucks.

⚫️ Ethan (he/him)

how fast do y'all type? ;3 this is on our MacBook keyboard lol

a screenshot of monkeytype results, showing 128 words per minute with 97% accuracy

✨ Zari (they/she)

we're not hyperfixating you're hyperfixating

a screenshot of Apple Books on Zari's iPad, showing their Psychology collection with a myriad of books about Dissociative Identity Disorder. From left to right: "The Dissociative Identity Disorder Sou

✨ Zari (they/she)

i’m so sorry to speak this into the universe but like… they’re going to send the IRS after queer-focused 501(c)3s right? Like retroactively stripping nonprofit status? I’ve reached out to some ED friends to see if they’re planning for this… and they’re not??

✨ Zari (they/she)

we’re almost certainly privileged enough for it not to matter but that executive order hitting as our mental health is the worst it’s been in a long time, and right as we’re about to meet with our psychiatrist to add DID to our chart (we have reasons) is scary!! genuinely frightening.

✨ Zari (they/she)

we need a new therapist so badly she is not at all versed in DID and keeps trying to use IFS concepts with us and it's so counterproductive honestly, but we're moving so soon and no one will respond to us ugh

✨ Zari (they/she)

we grabbed a copy of Emma Grove's "The Third Person" today and read it in a marathon 3 hour session, holy fuck was it good. Now to spiral a little and process some things lol

🌀 Flux (it/its)

exceptionally bad brain day bweh

✨ Zari (they/she)

today's fit is this adorable new cluey shirt i got 🥰

a selfie of zari, wearing a black shirt with a "Cluey" design, the text is white, and in the shape and font of the Bluey logo, but has light blue spots like Blue from Blue's Clues, and a slightly deep

⚫️ Ethan (he/him)

"are you a puppy girl because you have arf arf ARFID?" - our wife 🤦🏼‍♀️

✨ Zari (they/she)

the ever-lovely @olivia.ky got us this gorgeous hoodie and BINGO EARS today 🥰 i feel so freaking cute aaaa

a mirror selfie of zari, wearing a hoodie that has pink and orange wavy lines of fabric at the bottom, then a blue wave, a sun coming out of that, and white, pink, and yellow stripes coming out of the

✨ Zari (they/she)

just remembering the time last year that i got drugged at a bar by a creep, and then the next morning went to the ER after making it home safely because I was very unwell – they told me i just drank too much and when there was THC in my blood put "Marijuana Abuse" on my chart and did nothing 🙃

✨ Zari (they/she)

cut most of our hair off today, love it soooo much 🥰

a selfie of zari, with their new hair which is platinum blonde with a middle part, cut short on the sides above the ears, and long in the back just above shoulder length. they're wearing a purple tank

✨ Zari (they/she)

why is cigna sending me a push notification every 15 minutes this morning saying “you’re due for a healthcare visit” what do they know that i don’t

✨ Zari (they/she)

so lazy today, but managed to do a little makeup for the first time in a while and felt cute 🥰

a photo of zari, sitting at their desk, wearing a purple tank top. they have short-ish blonde hair with noticeable roots, and large pink plastic glasses.

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