notes

we're learning that a toaster oven is a very critical part of my ability to feed ourself, as we impatiently heat up a full-size electric oven (so slow god) to heat a breakfast sandwich lmao

honestly if it weren’t for how difficult it makes dating it would mostly be funny how threatened and confused some men are by the concept of someone without genitals

guy: "i don't remember that conversation, i think i may have been drunk"

me: "i don't remember that conversation, i have dissociative amnesia"

god where's that dumb bitch that kept shouting at me about how gay people won marriage equality and we have to moderate ourselves and follow the same playbook for trans rights because look where that's gotten us lmfao

slept decently, got out of the apartment, had some phenomenal biscuits and gravy, talked to real people for a second. good morning.

in some ways my brain created a family of people to take care of me in my head because my external family was harmful. i’m thankful to have them during hard times like this. melanie and i have had some really helpful conversations.

the only constant in our life is that our body is for men to take and use for their pleasure however they like regardless of how it destroys us

do y'all shave your feet or are those unique brainworms we have

this lyft driver went around the block 4 times before stopping, reeks of weed, and misgendered me lmao sick

well there's literally not another room available on the property at all so i am forced to stare at and sleep in the bed that i was sexually assaulted in for the next two weeks while allegedly working on my mental health full time i'm sure that's going to go well

stares into camera so that was a lie

our arm is still sore and bruised from him biting us

never asked if that was okay either

random makeup tip: eyeshadow with shimmer for inner corner highlight accentuates texture and pulls light in a bad way – use a matte light skin-tone shade or like, bone/white if you're pale like me, it'll look much better. if you need shine for the look, a little glitter over that works better!

in better news we are five weeks sober and will not be letting all of this ruin that, it has been so fucking worth it

hey... if you say "this really hurts" and "i don't think i can do this" and are verbally wincing a hookup should stop right? he shouldn't grab your hips and push into you?

like it eventually felt good but uhhhhhh i am having feelings and am very confused and conflicted and idk man

group therapy today was rough, this guy got angry and it was triggering.

🌟 i fronted and didn't know where i was in the cafeteria and it was very scary, i was just super quiet and followed the line back to the room and sat there but people kept asking me questions and i didn't know what to say 😔

i was going to consult for BA a bit ago but had to decide not to because Ethan’s chest dysphoria and binder wearing. i still think about it so often.

being plural is not the most fun thing.

thinking about the guy in group therapy who responded to us saying “i have no idea who i am” immediately with “well, however many of you there are, there, four, whatever” when we have not mentioned DID 🙃

finally wore a two piece swimsuit after like,, 9 years of transition and swam for the first time in 5 years. it was sooo nice 🥰